I am relatively certain that I have been in a constant state of overwhelmed-ness for the past 6 months or so.
Overwhelmed by emotions – tears come far more easily these days. Overwhelmed by the reality that I have to start a real career now – no more automatic funneling to the next step. Overwhelmed by the craziness of the next months – I am not sure when I next have a truly free moment.
But more than anything, I am overwhelmed by the beauty in my life.
I am overwhelmed by the amazing way my community is falling into place – friends and church and small group. People I did not choose, but who have turned out to be some of the best things to happen to me in the past 3 years.
I am overwhelmed by the beauty of this world – French wine country, outdoor markets, sunsets in the Tennessee foothills.
I am overwhelmed by the immense privilege I have in caring for my patients and their families. By the way the illness of a child can bring out the best parts of people, showing me the face and hands of God in the midst of tragedy. By the way the illness of a child can bring out the worst parts of people, teaching me how to offer grace and love in the face of anger and despair and frustration.
Life is beautiful. And tragic. So many things I don’t understand, and think I may never understand this side of heaven.
I thought by now I would have life figured out – that I would understand who I was, where I was going, what my life would look like for years to come.
I am so glad that I don’t.
Quote for the day:
“Even if you have it all together you can’t know where you’re going to end up. There are too many forces, as deep and invisible as tides, that keep us bouncing into places where we never thought we’d wind up. Sometimes the best we can hope for is to be graceful and brave in the face of all the changes that will surely come.” - Ann Patchett, “What Now?”